Blue Star

Sh!t Happens... Or Lucky Guy... Or The Eternal Optimist...

I went out for a ride last night after work. It was about 32 degrees or so and I put on lots of warm fuzzy clothes including a balaclava to keep the head/neck warm. With all my clothes on, I felt like a kid who was going to go out sledding. The extremities don't bend very well because of all the fabric. Walking looks more like waddling. Imagine Ralphie from the movie "A Christmas Story" when his mom dresses him to go play in the snow, except I had an orange helmet on with a really bright light on it.

Click, Click. Spinning along in the cold quite night. Each breath producing a cloud of steam that leaves tracer trails behind me like a jet through the sky. I'm about 10 minutes into my ride on my usual night route, thinking about how great the legs felt, when sh!t began to happen. I look over my shoulder to check for cars in preparation to make a left turn. The problem is I started to drift to the right when I was looking over my shoulder (maybe all those clothes threw my balance off). When I turn around to look forward, I noticed that I was about to hit the curb running along the side of the road. Wham! I clipped the curb with my front wheel and got pitched sideways onto the sidewalk hip first. I did a spinning slide across the concrete sidewalk into the bushes where I came to an abrupt stop from 18 mph.

I immediately pop up to my feet, adrenaline pumping, and assess the damage to body and bike. Body good? Check. All the clothes acted as buffer to keep skin away from concrete. I didn't even rip my jacket or tights. Right glove was a little mangled (note to self - might have to replace those). Bike good? Check. Some surface scratches to the shifters and some torn bar tape but other than that good to go. No damage to the frame or important parts (read, the expensive stuff). I decide to soldier on and finish out the 2 hour ride.

But, wait a minute, what stinks? I mean something was really stinking like sh!t. Huh? What's that on my shoulder? A few pine needles from the bushes. Why are they sticking to my jacket? OOOHHHH that's what smells like sh!t, IT IS SH!T! All over my shoulder. When I came to a stop in the bushes adjacent to the sidewalk, I landed in a steaming fresh pile of dog poo. I come to the realization that I simply can't continue my ride smelling like that so I return home, strip off my aromatic outer layers, and throw them in the wash. Determined to get some training time in, I rode on the trainer for a half hour or so pontificating about the events that just occurred.

What are the chances? I have logged about 20k miles on my road bike and have never laid it down once. Yesterday, the stars aligned and I crash. Of all the places to fall on the planet earth, I serendipitously land in a pile of sh!t. Again, I ask, what are the chances? I figure it just about the same odds of hitting the Powerball jackpot. Unlikely to damn near impossible.

Eternal optimist I am (in Yoda voice). The way I see it I'm lucky. I didn't break any bones. I didn't ruin any clothes. Bike will be fixed for less than $100. Plus, I needed to replace some worn out parts on the bike anyway. Perfect opportunity. So, all is good in the Emerald City. After some garage time tomorrow night over a few glasses of wine, I'll be out logging a pair of five hour rides on Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Snow or no snow I'll be out there.

(Black and) Blue Star out.